Why Stillness Feels Hard After 40 | Yin Yoga
Hey beautiful soul!!!!
Go ahead — grab your favourite mug, pour yourself something warm, and curl up somewhere cozy with a blanket!!! Let’s have a real chat — like we’re sitting on the couch together, tea in hand, just exhaling for a moment.
Because I want to talk about something I hear all the time in my Yin Yoga classes and from friends who are navigating life after 40:
Why does stillness feel so hard NOW?
Why is it that when we finally slow down — when the kids are older, or our work isn’t as frantic, or we finally carve out time for ourselves — our minds start racing, our bodies get fidgety, and we just can’t seem to settle?
You might not know this yet, but it’s not because you’re bad at relaxing. LOL 🤣
It’s not that your mind forgot how to be quiet.
And it’s definitely not because you’re “too old” to change.
It’s because your beautiful, wise nervous system has spent decades keeping you safe through motion, busyness, and doing.
When Movement Feels Safer Than Rest
For many of us over 40, we’ve been living in go-mode for decades — juggling careers, raising families, caring for aging parents, managing endless to-do lists.
And when we finally stop… our bodies aren’t used to it.
We’ve trained ourselves to find safety in movement.
Busyness has been our way of feeling okay.
So when life slows down — when there’s finally space to rest — our nervous system can get confused.
It goes, “Wait… this stillness feels weird. Are we sure we’re safe?”
That’s why sitting quietly or lying in Savasana can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
Stillness brings up all the emotions, fatigue, and unprocessed thoughts we’ve tucked away while taking care of everyone else.
So of course it feels hard.
Stillness asks you to meet you — fully, gently, and honestly.
And that takes courage.
Midlife Shifts: Energy, Hormones, and the Yin We’ve Been Missing
Something else starts to happen around 40 (and beyond).
Our bodies begin to shift — hormonally, energetically, emotionally.
In Chinese Medicine, this is when our Yin energy — the energy of rest, reflection, nourishment, and coolness — naturally begins to decline.
Meanwhile, our Yang energy — the drive, the doing, the go-go-go — has often been running the show for decades.
So when we finally slow down, we’re often touching that Yin energy for the first time in a long time… and it can feel foreign.
That quiet space can reveal how tired we really are.
How much we’ve been holding.
And how deeply we need gentleness.
But here’s the gift: this stage of life is made for reconnection.
It’s an invitation to shift from striving to allowing — from doing more to being more.
My Moment of Realization
I still remember one of my early Yin practices — not just doing the poses, but really being in the stillness.
It was uncomfortable. My mind wanted to move, my body wanted to fix something, my hand wanted to reach for my phone. 🙄
And then I realized — it wasn’t about my body being tight.
It was about my heart being tired of holding so much for so long.
So much anxiety and anger around my marriage to an alcoholic who abused me.
So much fear of being able to take care of myself all on my own.
That was the day I had a lightbulb moment and I understood:
Stillness isn’t passive.
It’s powerful.
It’s the quiet moment when you stop running from yourself and start remembering who you are beneath the busyness.
You’re Not Bad at Being Still — You’re Just Learning a New Way to Feel Safe
So if you’ve ever found yourself lying in stillness thinking,
“I can’t stop my mind,”
or sitting in meditation and feeling restless — please know this:
There’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not failing at rest.
You’re simply retraining your body to trust the quiet again.
Every time you take a mindful breath, every time you choose to pause instead of push — you’re showing your nervous system that it’s safe to rest now.
And that’s the real practice, especially at this stage of life.
A Little Invitation to Practice
So maybe today, take one small Yin moment for yourself.
Maybe it’s three deep breaths before opening your phone in the morning.
Maybe it’s actually tasting your tea before rushing into the next thing.
Maybe it’s a quiet pause between tasks.
You might not know this yet…
but those tiny, quiet moments are where you start reclaiming your calm, your clarity, and your courage — the parts of you that might’ve gotten buried under years of doing.
And that’s really what this whole Yinning at Life journey is about.
Take a breath.
Be gentle with yourself.
And remember — calm isn’t something you find.
It’s something you allow.
✨ If this message resonated with you, come join me inside the SolefulYin Yoga App. You’ll find 5–60 minute Yin classes designed specifically for people over 40 — plus calming breath work, self reflexology and acupressure techniques, guided audios and meditations for sleep and relaxation. No commitment. Cancel Your Membership Anytime.
Here's your gentle invitation to slow down, reconnect, and rediscover your calm at this stage of life.